Monday, March 23, 2009

Memoirs of a Runner

Have you ever had a bowel movement so good that you think you might have felt the Spirit? Think about that for a minute. As a young boy growing up I never gave pooping much thought. That is until a Lake Powell trip, summer while in jr. high school.
The trips I took with the Chilton’s were all great with some of the fondest memories of my early life taking place down there. Skiing, zip-lines, nakedness, Joel using Troy’s head as a ramp, Nes refusing to jump, bottle rockets in the chest or moody girlfriends swimming to islands to pout and expecting us to come get them and um… not or any number of nefarious activities occurring on top of the houseboat. All really neat things that I am lucky to have experienced. But anytime the topic of proper bowel function comes up one Lake Powell memory comes raging in with such clarity its as if it were yesterday.
We had been on the houseboat for nearly a week and I was suffering from some faulty elimination. After my morning constitutional I came back from the hills and as I was walking back on the boat, Mark Chilton, father of my dear friend Troy, was adjusting the beach anchors and must have seen my obvious angst and just looked at me in the most matter of fact Mark Chilton way and said, "Rob, you should really go running." Perplexed I was. I mean Mark had told me some pretty weird stuff up to that point but this was something I just couldn’t get my head around. I wasn’t nearly as rotund as you might find me now so I know he wasn’t recommending a fitness regimen, it must have just been that obvious I was in a bad way, or was Troy’s dad just bat-sh** crazy.?.? I asked him as politely as I could what in THE hell he was talking about and he informed me that after a really good run you were almost always guaranteed a great movement. I believe the exact word he used to describe it was "Effortless." There was a little more to the conversation but you have enough information for me to make my point. So here it is…
Who took Charlie running? Our little man hadn’t made any type of fecal deposit in 5 days and was growing increasingly irritable and then yesterday, after one of you people broke into my house stole my smushy brained son and took him out for a nice long run he started a marathon of his own. He’s been pooping regularly for over 24 hrs now, 5 movements all included. While that is nothing but a normal day for some of you folks, it is Herculean by Charlie standards. The best part is that his temperament has been completely pleasant. Case in point; this morning after discharge numero tres he just laid in bed so content, so relaxed I almost felt like I should have gotten him a cigarette. Today has been great for Charlie and he needed it. He needed a little R&R and so did his mom. I just wish I could ask him if it has been "Effortless" like Mark promised it would be.
This also brings me to the subject of the BIAU 5K Run, Walk, Roll. We can’t wait to see you all there and we hope you will all bring a friend. And if you run fast enough I’ll guarantee you an "Effortless" finish so leave the Metamucil at home. It should be better than last year thanks in part to some fine work being done by my sibs who are helping organize the event. If you’d like to help volunteer or donate anything just leave a comment here and one of them will contact you.

P.S. Angel is working on a photo entry of a day in the life of Charlie so we should all start getting really excited for that. Yeah Angel!!!

P.S.S. If I’ve offended or disgusted anyone in the writing of this post you must have never had issue with your digestive system and it probably functions so well you don’t even need toilet paper and rather than apologize to you, you can take comfort knowing there are many out there who envy your function.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

AMEN and AMEN.

Kelli Whitney said...

All I can say is Wow! Thanks Rob for your story. I'm glad Charlie is feeling good these days.

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I'm so glad Charlie is feeling better. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to go to the little girls' room. :)

Sue

Suz said...

Really? Your Mom is shaking her head.

I do have to testify to the chill Char. Got some snugs and smiles yesterday that soothed my soul.

Marilee said...

Crap--sorry I won't be at the BAIU to--watch-not run. I'm a great cheerleader-- runner-not so much.
I actually think the reward of an effortless evacuation should be part of the PR for the run.

Meghan said...

so, just wondering, did you see the line before you jumped right over it with the cigarette comment?

Dallas said...

The cigarette comment--classic.

Troy said...

Ahhh Yes! The "Mark Chilton Movement" Nice WORK CHAR!!! May we all experience the jubilation of an "effortless" B.M.! That is my prayer in the name of...

seanteyatroy said...

HAhaHAhaHAhaHA...thanks for the walk down memory lane...I will be at the walk/run depending on when this little one pops out...being prego I can attest to the frustration of not having a good poop.

Kristin said...

HILARIOUS!!! Thanks Rob... I'm glad to hear Char had a good day!

JenSav said...

Great news for Rob and the fam! As one suffering from that internal problem - blame pregnancy - I can say there is nothing quite like relief. SO happy for Charlie & you all!
On a more serious note, I'm new to this blog as I was just reunited with your dear wife after a 5 year absence - toooooo long - and have spent the last 4 days reading every ounce of it. Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm just sorry I didn't know what was going on and now live too far away to really do anything (Illinois). BUT, if Angel wants me to, I can thrust my way into my Sr. Year cheerleading skirt (sorry my MJH one is out of the question with this pregnant belly) and send a pic of me doing a super high, high kick, to say WAY TO GO WITH EVERYTHING! Your family - including the around the clock help from your parents & siblings - astounds and delights me. Thank you for being such amazing examples!!
God bless, Jen Gardner Savage
P.S. Rob, your old Ward pop-off buddy, Josh, says hi! :)

Through the Looking Glass said...

Rob, you've always been full of shit. This entry just proved it "effortlessly".

That Charlie needs basic pleasures more than the rest of us is so true. Bless him, I hope this is a permanent trend.

Brett said...

Hi Angel...(this is Brett H...Dr. Foley's patient)...love this article!!! I have way too many stories myself!!! Let your husband know that this was awesome! Hope all is well. It was great talking with you at the office about your sons...what an amazing young man and your other son too. My MS seems so small!!! Thank you again!!!

whit said...

AMANDA!! You seriously took my line. I had it all written out in my head. Thanks. But true Rob, you are and it is nice that it has several ways out of your body. Good work Coop, I'm glad to hear you are feeling good.

Miss Lila in Atlanta said...

Hello,
MORE PICTURES OF SWEET CHARLIE, PLEASE.

Thank you,

Miss Lila in Atlanta
lilahuggins@gmail.com

Heidi McMillan said...

I found your blog through IHH. I am a heart mom and was so inspired by your faith and Chalie's life. What a beautiful boy he is and what a year you have had. I am currently compiling a book called Children of Hope. When I came across your journey and beautiful little boy I wanted to write and see if you would be interested in sharing your story through this experience. If you want to find out more about the book please email me at childofhope@gmail.com. I have been blessed with a healthy child, a heart child and a stillborn due to neurological problems who have each taught me unique lessons about life, love and Christ. It is my hope that these children can give other families dealing with similar journeys the same hope, joy and faith that these children have blessed our lives with.

Heidi McMillan said...

The email address is actually childofhope1@gmail.com. Thanks for sharing Charlies life with us!

Carlsen Family said...

Thank You so much for sharing Charlie's story, he's such a cute, amazing little boy. On that note...I am very interested in participating in the BIAU 5K and I want to make sure that I am on team Charlie!! So can someone please email me back and let me know how I should go about that.

Anonymous said...

I just signed up as an individual. Is there a way to be on Charlie's team?

Amber Lucey said...

Angel and Rob,

Hello! I don't know if you guys remember me, but I was one of Charlie's nurses at the hospital. I am so glad to hear that Charlie is doing well! It may not seem to be a big deal to you at this point, but I could not believe the pictures of Charlie smiling. It brought a tear to my eye! I think about your family all the time and hope that things are going well.

I now work for a research company that is researching a meningitis vaccine for infants. It is a good opportunity for infants to get vaccinated for meningitis. The vaccine is currently given to children 11-18, but through this study, we hope to get it approved for younger children. If you know anyone that has a newborn and may be interested, or you would like to post it on your blog, please email me and I will give you more information. My email is alucey@jlewisresearch.com.

I miss Charlie and your family and appreciate your blog so that I can keep updated. Good luck with everything! I hope to hear from you soon!

Amber Lucey