Rob and I are fairly private people and so the proposal of TV has been a tough decision. My face turns red every time I think about it. I asked 10 people what they would do in our situation and 9/10 said they would go on the news. When asked why, there were very few legitimate reasons to outweigh the shyness and the invasion of privacy. Rob and I debated that the blog has already exposed us beyond our comfort level but when we hear everyone’s amazing comments we realized how beneficial it has been for us. How can we be the ones to stop him from melting your hearts as he has ours?
I accepted to go on the channel 5 news with Amanda Butterfield although second guessed several times afterwards. Rob has accepted to be silently supportive. Ironic isn’t it that he is so eloquent in writing and quite social in a casual environment and yet so shy in a formal setting. I’m terrified to make a fool of myself and yet reminded of what Susan has said throughout this whole ordeal “This isn’t about you or them, it’s about Charlie.”
I’ve heard that Charlie has affected many people’s lives in a positive way, many times without them ever being in the same room with him. This phenomenon is a little difficult for me to understand because pictures on the blog don’t do him or the feeling justice. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve recently realized that Charlie wasn’t sent here just for Rob and I to learn from-although we have so much to learn- he is meant to be shared. No matter how much I would like to slip back in anonymity he has a story to tell. Although that story may be different for each person following him, he seems to convey all that is good- faith, endurance, peace, innocence, patience, toughness, determination. He has completely changed our family’s perspective and outlook on life. He has made us realize how fragile life is and not to take anything for granted. As I wonder if Charlie will ever smile again I find myself thoroughly memorizing Britton’s smile. I don’t think I will ever know exactly how but somehow Charlie is drawing people to him like a magnet and I guess we as his parents need to allow that to happen. We are so lucky to be a witness to what a small body can do with such a big spirit.