Knock, Knock? Who's There?

Angel says I have to post this. I on the other hand have vacillated since Monday whether this blog should be privy to every happening in Char’s life or perhaps we exercise familial selfishness in certain instances and keep a few things to ourselves. Nevertheless, Ang has spoken and since I enjoy sharing her bed I will concede and share a few details from this experience.

Monday while sitting in the examination room of Charlie’s Pediatrician, Dr. Lam, I had the coolest Rob/Char experience since he began his new life. I was holding the little man in my lap having a conversation with him about how I couldn’t care less if Bronco is or isn’t recruiting players while on their missions, allegedly, and patting his rear trying to keep him in a good mood till Dr. Lam came in. For those of you who don’t see Charlie oft here’s a tich of background, when Charlie is in his normal zone he usually has his chin in his right shoulder and his eyes are glaring off to the upper right. Similar to the look you all gave your parents when they just told you that you couldn’t go to Lake Powell w/ the Chilton’s yet you knew you’d go anyway but you had to appear put out. Or if you can’t relate to that, perhaps the look you gave your mom when you got busted sneaking in at dawn after toilet papering a neighbors house for the 6th consecutive night knowing full well all apologies were in vain and you’d be out again the next eve to make it a full week of tomfoolery. And if you can’t relate to those examples or are still left wanting I can’t help you, just know that Char stare’s pointlessly to the upper right w/ one eye aggressively more so.

Enough of this unnecessary delineation, here is the point of this post. While I was looking at Charlie he looked back! Now this was a far different stare than many of you have witnessed where he might move his eyes in your direction for a second or two as you enter his visual field and then gaze off again. This look stuck and after about a half minute he tilted his head to the side just a touch similar to the way a dog does when your yelling at it and it thinks to itself, "Silly human, don’t you know I only speak dog?" It was like he was concentrating on me. I started smiling from ear to ear and then almost instantly he opened his mouth a little and the left corner turned up just a smidge all the while his eyes were focused and searching my whole face. This lasted only for a minute or two but I sucked in every second of it. Charlie was trying to smile at his old man and this was the first time since January 27th that I thought Charlie might still be in there. Know this, before Charlie got sick, smiles were not hard to solicit and I will happily blow air up my own skirt by saying that all he had to do was hear my voice and he’d immediately get a grin that would shame even the Cheshire Cat. Now some of you might be thinking to yourself, "Rob is just a desperate father grasping at straws." But, while I’m in the business of tooting one’s horn I’ll continue, it has been difficult on the highest levels imaginable to accept the reality of Charlie’s situation and with the help of a "swimsuit issue" hot wife, a Infectious Disease Doc who is honest almost to a fault and a Suidae loving Resident I feel as though we have come to grips with our boys woe rather famously. This event in the Dr.’s office was different. Granted it wasn’t a grin worthy of a glamour shot but it was a glimpse of consciousness. And wouldn’t it make sense that if Charlie’s dain bramage was significant enough that he no longer knows how hold up his own head or swallow saliva he’d also have to re-learn things as elementary as smiling? It was surreal but now more than ever I know Char is in there somewhere, and though he may come and go it gives me hope and if I remember right some crazy physicist who figured out what E equaled said, "learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." That’s what I’m trying to do as Charlie’s dad. Hunter’s mom and dad, Emily and Bryson made a comment about seeing progress in their little man, "Don't get discouraged. Sometimes Bry and I are the only ones who notice progress with Hunter." It’s a bit unnerving how true that is.